I do apologize for the gaps in between my blogs lately. If you follow me on my social media platforms, you know that it's been a productive few months. I have recently signed on as the Creative Director of Nashville Fashion TV, and that along with the work I am doing on my own has kept me terribly tied up. I barely have time to write an Instagram caption, let alone an entire blog!
Interviewing Amanda Valentine for Nashville TV
Imposter Sundrome: a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes referring to high-achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud"
Behind the scenes of a product shot and commercial.
I know that I've shared a lot of things with you on this blog that most people wouldn't dream of mentioning to their closest friends, let alone expose their vulnerabilities to the entire internet. However, when I started blogging, I told you all that I would be honest with all of you. And, the way I look at it, if I have difficulties with this, then others will too.
This past year has been the most rewarding career wise for me. I have dressed famous people, rebranded musicians entirely, been published in print, been in music videos, had countless photo shoots, relaunched my website, and will be giving a speech at a Fashion Week kickoff party about my career as a celebrity stylist. I was on my way to interview Amanda Valentine, the fashion designer for Nashville Fashion TV when I was tagged in the poster on Facebook:
It was then that it hit me. I am going to be giving a speech in front of other people on how to become a celebrity stylist. I was going to tell people how they could become like me. Who on earth would want to listen to that? No one wants to listen to me go on and on about how I have essentially spent seven years taping people's boobs down, and steaming out disgruntled rockstar's wrinkles! What if they realize that I'm not really all that great? What if they find out that I'm not glamorous, and I'm no one to aspire to be like? I'm not a stylist! I'm a fake! Now, keep in mind, I said this as I had a trunk full of clothes I needed to return from a photo shoot I just styled, a text conversation going on with a client of mine, and I was about to walk in to interview a very well known fashion designer for a program...about fashion. I had managed to go into that deep dark hole and take away my own accomplishments from myself.
Logically speaking, I know that my hard work is finally beginning to pay off. I know that there is a long road ahead of me that will involve burns from steamers, and people who used to be famous being mad at me over pleating in their pants. But my subconscious likes to go into this deep dark pit that is filled with everyone who's ever told me that I wasn't enough. It's my natural instinct to fall down that hole. Oh,you've just booked an incredibly high profile job that will look insanely great on your resume? What if they figure out that you're not as great as everyone says you are? What if they find out that you have no idea what you're doing? This is where my brain goes.
It's then that I have to sit down, breathe, and usually write down everything that I am feeling in the moment. I'll make it out in list form, and reply to my own concerns.
Things that I am worried about:
They won't be happy with my work.
You'll never know until you actually do the work! Besides, every other client has always been happy!
I'm not accomplished enough. I should be further ahead by now.
You're nearly 25, and have already done more than people in your industry who are decades older than you. Shut up.
What if they don't take me seriously?
Do you take yourself seriously? OK, then. Now, go in there and show them how serious to take you.
It may sound a bit strange, readers, but this is the only thing that has really helped me get over this "Imposter Syndrome" circle of frustration.
Because, the truth of the matter is, I am quite successful for someone my age. I have worked at the same career goal for nearly seven years. I have been published several times, worked for mostly celebrities, and have started building the foundation on which my professional life will more than likely lie on for the rest of my life. Somedays, I just need my conscious and my subconscious to be on the same page!
What do you think, readers? Do you ever have self-doubt that turns into Imposter Syndrome? Comment below how you fight it off!
