True Life: I'm a Millennial With A Life Coach

Hey, readers!

I hope all of you are well. While I will be reporting on the trends I am seeing on the runways soon (Hello, Gucci cruise!) I thought I would talk to you guys on something that isn't really spoken about.

Today, I'm going to talk to you about my experience entering into the self help world.  After trying to build my own business with little to no luck, a "Lemonade"-esque breakup, a new home, a new relationship, and so much more sending my brain into frazzled mode, my friend Shelby recommended the book "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero to me, and it has honestly revolutionized my life.  You HAVE to get this book, you guys.  It's the best three bucks I ever spent on Amazon.  For someone who was a little self help weary, this book was absolutely perfect.  Jen was formerly in a punk rock band, and her quirky personality and offbeat sense of humor definitely shines through. She has a quote in the book that stood out to me more than any other:

"It's not your fault that you're f****d up. It's your fault if you stay f****d up!"

The cutest little reading buddy there ever was. 

Shelby: Soul sister, fellow badass, and Zombies fan 

How true was this?! The book gets really uncomfortable for a few chapters when you end up confronting your bull shitake mushrooms.  I had to get real with myself about which stories was I continuing to tell myself because they were comfortable.  She discusses how people become so wrapped up in their own narratives that doing anything that doesn't play into those will send your brain into shock. For instance: "No one in my family has ever made money." "Rich people are bad people." "I am going to die alone. There are no good men left." "No one makes money as a musician." etc. etc. Here were mine:

"People don't pay me enough for my services."
"Women aren't supposed to make money. Men are supposed to provide."
"I am an imposter."
"I am not good enough."
"I don't have enough resources to make a difference in the world."
"Men are intimidated by determined, successful women."

These were all crippling beliefs!  In my heart of hearts, I knew I wanted to build a one woman empire based on fashion being a healing avenue.  How on earth was I supposed to use my skills to serve the world if I didn't believe I had them? Or that I wasn't good enough?  What if The Beatles decided that no one wanted to hear their music because it was unusual?  Seriously! They were broke as hell when they started!

So, once I figured out what my narratives were--the stories that continued to make me feel like crap about myself--I then took the next course of action.  Jen says in the book to hire a life coach at any cost.  Put it on a credit card, sell all of your possessions, donate your blood, just hire a life coach at any cost.  And so I did!

I had already known of Coach Dar from her work on some people in my family, and her strong online presence.  Her Motivational Mondays always really inspired me, so I reached out to her.  I mentioned my struggles.  When I spoke of my dreams, she didn't laugh, and she certainly didn't scoff at me like the voices in my head were!  She said that she would absolutely be able to help me, and sent me her pricing sheet.  I bought eight sessions, and it was the biggest check I have ever written in my life.  I looked at this as an investment in my life, and tried to not laugh at the irony of hiring a life coach when I was a self employed person with no clients on the books.

My first session was on the phone.  I was honest with Coach Dar about all of my shortcomings, my self doubt, and the direction I wanted to go in with my life.  And just like any other coach in sports would, she told me how to keep my head in the game.

The first thing we tackled was getting me on a meditation routine.  She told me about an app called the Insight Timer.  I am doing guided meditations at least twice a day.  Sometimes it's more if I feel like I need it.  I am then doing gratitude journaling in the morning and at night.  There's an app that my friend Shelby told me about called the 5 Minute Journal that reminds you do create entries twice a day.  That way, there's no excuses! Everyone carries their phones on them at all times anyway! You might as well take a moment to stop and reflect on what you're grateful for! I finally have been able to get into the meditation zone that everyone always talks about.  I was given a personal affirmation to repeat to myself all the time.  It's written on a notecard that's stuck to my windshield.  I was given a meditation exercise to lock away the notion of women not being able to make money in to a drawer, as well as personal affirmations to repeat to myself when I start to feel insecure about my career. I did an exercise in which I had to take every single belief about myself financially.  An example:

BELIEF:
"Women don't make money.  Men provide it."
IS THAT TRUE?
Of course not. Lots of women make tons of money every day. All of the business women I admire are self made women!
TURN IT AROUND
I  provide an abundant life for myself! Women run successful companies all over the world. And I am one of them! I am able to serve so many people using my gifts.
BELIEF
No one wants to pay me what I am worth.
IS THAT TRUE?
No! There are stylists out there that I am just as good as making ten times what I do! They are working with exciting clients every single day!
TURN IT AROUND
People are paying what I'm worth to have people just like me style them! I am always in the right place at the right time to meet them!

Truer words have never been spoken. 

I did the same exercise for my personal beliefs in my self-mind, body, and spirit.  I then sat down and got really clear on my financial needs.  I wrote down every single thing that I would need to have the greatest life I could imagine.  When I sat down and did the math, I realized that this life was easily attainable--if I had been charging what I had originally wanted to charge people for my services! All I would need to do is to charge what I am worth, I could thrive with four clients a month! Instead, I was floundering with eight or more jobs a month, and barely scraping by! What a freeing revelation this was! I wasn't a failure, or lacking! I just was selling myself short!

At the end of the day, the biggest thing that Coach Dar has helped me with is my attitude!  I had such a poverty mindset--"Things never happen to me." "I'm not successful enough." "I should have been further along." And just as easily as those thoughts flew through my brain, now "I am already abundant." "I am always in the right place at the right time." "I am exactly in the right place to serve." are on repeat.  You can't control all of the situations you will be handed, readers.  You can, however, handle how you choose to react to them.  There were days recently that I would have loved to have stayed in bed all day and wallowed.  But, I chose to wake up, dress up, make up, and show up.  And those days have been the most rewarding!  I have ended up in some beautifully rewarding situations that would not have happened had I done things my old ways.

If your old ways aren't working--if you're broke, and feel like you always will be, or if you feel like you're just existing and not living, or whatever it is, get your hands on that book.  Hire a coach.  Sell everything you have to make it happen.  Do whatever it takes.  Because being able to get out of bed in the morning, being able to look myself square in the eye and be prepared to take over the world is priceless.

You may think I am nuts for being a 24 year old with a life coach, but I will be over here making vision boards, meditating, and repeating my affirmations in the mean time.  You only have one life to live.  I have spent far too much time at the bedsides of people I love towards the end of their life. When I asked them what they all wished? "That I hadn't worried as much and just lived." And it's my every intention to live in such a way that when my loved ones gather around me and ask me what I would have changed, I will be able to smile, and say "Nothing. It was the best ride ever."


Would you ever consider getting a life coach, readers? Why or why not?

A little reminder from my five minute journal app.